Opinions, please

So, I need some advice on a dress I ordered online. I can't decide whether or not to keep it. Kevin says it looks like I'm a zebra or that I'm wearing spider webs. Personally, I kinda like it, but I'm not sure the black waistband is all that flattering for me, since I barely have a waist and the contrasting band maybe emphasizes that. It wasn't a particularly cheap dress either, so....I'm stumped. I need opinions! Too bold? Not quite my style? Unflattering? Tell me your real, honest opinion. (I know I can count on at least Alicia to tell me what she really thinks. :) )